Pour Some Sugar On Me (In the name of Love)
by Studyinscarlett
Summary: At the Twisted Angel, the sexual tension is real between stripper Dean Winchester and businessman Castiel Novak. Dean only expects Castiel to like him for his body and the way he moves on stage, but soon, Cas proves to Dean that he wants so much more than that.
1. Chapter 1

Dean had worked at the strip club, The Twisted Angel, since the day he turned 18. All of his paycheck that didn't go towards his apartment, went to his little brothers college fund. But, as years passed, he started to like working there. He always got compliments on his bow legs, or full pink lips, or even how beautiful his green eyes looked in the dim light of the club. Now, he was 21, working on a Friday night. Fridays were honestly the worst days to work, apparently all the creeps came right after work and stayed until The Twisted Angel closed, and that was at 3 am. But today, the only thing that made it better was the cute young guy sitting three rows back, with wide lips and tousled black hair that made him look like he just got done having sex. Dean bit his lip, staring at the man and he swung his hips to the song that was currently playing. He thumbed at the band of his thong, parting his lips around a silent moan and making eye contact with the hottie in row three.

The man in row three was a stranger to strip clubs. That was a fact. His brother Gabriel had given him much grief over the fact that he had not ever seen anyone naked, not even in a porn. Castiel Novak refused to ever watch such garbage, but that didn't stop Gabriel. The first stop of the night was at a regular strip club with women. One of the dancers had taken off her top, given Cas one hell of a lap dance. But that didn't do anything. Gabe took him to another spot he liked to hang out at, The Twisted Angel, seeing as it had both men and women there. The older brother found prime seats and sat Cas down with a huge wad of fives. They could afford to be so unwise with their money.  
But as Cas was alone, the newest dancer went up, and he could not look away. His body was so perfect, so muscular and defined, it would make any women weak at the knees. Then they made eye contact. Bright blue eyes met stunning green and never looked away. His face gave away that he was enjoying the show far more than he would ever admit.

Dean smiled as he noticed the other mans slack jawed look. God, he was hot. He slid down to his knees, onto all fours and crawled to the edge of the stage, ass moving slowly side to side, as the song ended. He sat up on his knees and ran his hands down his firmly muscled torso and over his thong as the song ended. People threw money at him and pushed it into the waistband of his thong, but his eyes never left the blue ones they were locked to. He gathered all the money on the stage and stood up slowly, licking his lips and winking at The hottie before leaving the stage to go back to his dressing room.

Cas never remembered blinking. He never remembered doing anything more than just staring and wanting that body close to his in an intimate, private place. But that wouldn't happen. That couldn't happen in such a place. Cas told himself that the man was just doing this for the money, that he couldn't think about this or it would ruin him. He was untouchable. Once the show was over, Cas got up to walk out, not wanting to sit there and just think about the man. "Where are you going?" Gabriel asked as Cas walked out in front of him. "Out. I need air." He pushed past, heading out to the bitter cold outside. He would just have to wait until Gabe was done staring and came outside. Sitting on the steps, he pulled his coat in close and waited.

Dean changed quickly into some normal clothes and walked out of the back door, lighting a cigarette and sighing in relief as the nicotine soothed him. It was a dirty habit, but his skin and teeth still looked great, so it didn't matter to dean. He tugged his coat a little tighter around him and took out his phone to text his brother. He was on his dinner break and had an hour and a half before he had to be back at work. He was one of The Twisted Angel's favorite dancers, all the patrons, men and women alike, loved him, so his manager made him work until close every day. He sighed heavily, taking a drag of his cigarette as he stopped by the front steps, waiting for his brother to text him back before he left to go get dinner.

The cigarette smoke easily went through the air, and Cas wrinkled his nose at it. Obviously he couldn't control anyone's actions, but he hated it when people smoked. Looking up to find the culprit, he saw the man he had earlier been staring at, but he was dressed this time. Thankfully. His face turned a bright red, lighting up like a beacon. He wanted to say something, anything.. "H-Hello," was his shy attempt.

Dean furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the guy on the steps. His face relaxed though, when he recognized the guy from row three. "Hey!" He smiled and threw his cigarette on the cement, grinding it out with the heel of his shoe. "Mind if I sit with you?" He asked, looking at the spot next to the other man.

Oh geez. He talked like a normal person... Cas turned to face the pavement, surprised that he had even spoken to him, or wanted to sit next to him. All he could do was nod, feeling his throat drying out. Crap. Crap. "Why are you outside in the cold?"

Dean chuckled softly, taking his seat on the steps. "Waiting for my brother to text me back so I can go pick him up and we can go out to dinner. What about you?" He asked, smiling amicably. "You should be in there, enjoying the show." He chuckled softly.

"After you left the stage, I didn't want to go back," he said absent-mindedly. He didn't mean to say it out loud, but it was what he thought. With wide eyes, he looked back and tried to recover. "I meant... There's women, and I'm gay..."

Dean laughed quietly. "I understand. Same here. Women don't do it for me, but they always tip good." He winked. "But I'll be back in an hour and a half. It looked like you enjoyed the show. Are you gonna stay here?" He asked biting his lip.

"It depends on my brother. I think we'll be here until closing. so you'll be back on the stage?" Was he seriously asking this of a stripper? Castiel felt so absolutely stupid. Pulling out his money from his pocket, he held out a few more dollars for him. "I forgot to tip, I should have tipped."

Dean smiled and nodded. "Of course. I work to close every night." He frowned at the money slightly. "No, it's okay. You can just tip me when I get back." He smiled and politely gave him his money back. "You know.." He chuckled. "You're pretty cute. What's your name?" Oh god, he shouldn't be asking this. He should never be asking this. It's not like the club had a policy against it, they could date who they please, and if they happened to be a patron of the club then whatever. The only rules were in private sessions, and that included no touching. But Dean never saw himself doing this. He blushed and bit his lip shyly.

Cas liked it when he bit his lip. Eyes darted to the teeth and lips, wanting to free the skin from the bite.  
"Castiel Novak. I'm here with my brother Gabriel." He looked back up to the green eyes, unable to break away from them. "I didn't catch your name either. Stage name or otherwise. I was distracted by Gabe."

Dean smiled. "I like that name.. Castiel..." He murmured, rolling the syllables over his tongue. "My stage name is Levi, but my name is actually Dean." He smiled, looking into Castiel's bright blue eyes. Wow, never has he ever given anyone his real name. Deans head was swimming, but luckily a beep from his phone alerted him to his brothers text. He read it and groaned softly.

Levi? Cas tilted his head in confusion like a little puppy as he tried to think about why. But before he could ask, there was a text on Dean's phone followed by a groan. "Is everything alright?"

Dean bit his lip, worrying the soft skin between his teeth. "Yeah... No... Uh. My dad, he's not letting Sammy out tonight, says he has to study for some test." He frowned. "God, I don't even feel like going out for dinner anymore." He fished the carton of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled the lighter from his jacket. "Do you mind?" He asked, unlit cigarette dangling from between his lips.

Cas wanted to be that cigarette in that moment, to be between those two beautiful lips. "I actually... I am not fond of them. They smell terrible. How can you possibly smoke them?" He grabbed the lighter from his hand to look at it. "So your brother is still in school?"

Dean put the cigarette back in with its friends and put the carton back in his pocket. Dean shrugged, "Dunno. Been smoking since I was 19. Helps with nerves and hunger pains.." He mumbled looking down. "Yeah, he's a junior in highschool this year." He smiled talking about his little brother, texting Sam back and saying it was okay and that they could go out for dinner tomorrow night or Sunday night. He looked back up at Cas.

"You'll get cancer, but I'm sure you've heard that thousands of times." Looking back towards him, he couldn't help but smile at him. Oh he was so terribly close... Cas could just imagine their lips kissing, and it made him shudder just thinking about it. "So you're going back in or staying out here?"

Dean chuckled. "I've heard that millions of times, that and I'm too pretty to be smoking." He smiled softly, shivering as a strong wind blew by. He scooted closer to Cas. "I dunno. I could either take my break or get paid extra for working on it." He checked his phone. "Ill probably head back in with an hour left of my break so I can get paid double for the hour." He murmured, mainly rambling. He looked back up at Cas, licking his lips slowly.

Cas wanted him to work again, to be so damn undressed that he was just about naked. "Do you ever hate being treated like a piece of meat?" he asked, feeling guilty that his thoughts were focused on Dean like that.

Dean shrugged, looking into Cas' impossibly blue eyes. "I don't do this for me, so I can kind of forget about it. I've grown to like working here and since I'm one of the crowds favorites, I get first pick on scheduling and dinner breaks and stage times." He smiled softly. "The only thing that I don't like are all the creeps on Friday night that get handsy in the private rooms. I always have to call for the bodyguards on Fridays.." He shook his head softly.

Wait. Private rooms? Cas' eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Dean. "Private rooms? Gabriel never mentioned anything like that. Or he was going to later. What happens in private rooms?"

"You've never been here before?" He smiled, chuckling softly. "Private rooms are for patrons who pay for a private dance with any performer of their choice. It's $300 for the hour." He explained. "The only rules are no touching. There's a body guard who stands outside the room to kick the patron out if we call for them, if the patron starts touching."

"That seems terribly rude, being a tease in private and not allowing touches." It never occurred to him that it was his job, to be a tease and put on a show. In his mind, everyone on earth was kind and good-natured. Wait. $300 an hour? Cas could easily afford such a thing, but he knew that he could not follow the no touching rule. Not when all he could think about was that perfect body. "I've never been to a strip club ever. I received a promotion today and work and Gabriel took me out to celebrate."

Dean frowned slightly. "Would you like some stranger touching your junk?" He asked softly, looking down. "It's the clubs rule. But I know for a fact, many of my co workers ignore it and let their customers touch. It's up to us, really." He looked back up at Cas with a smirk. "Oh, congrats!" He smiled. "Where do you work?"

Well that made sense. Naive Castiel never thought about that. He had to agree with Dean. He wouldn't want a stranger touching him either. "At our family business. I'm in charge of the west coast sales now." He watched that smirk form, and oh how it taunted him. They weren't even in a private room, and yet Dean was already taunting him. "You must be cold. I should let you go back inside."

Deans smirk grew into a full blown smile, soft pink lips stretched over white teeth. "Yeah, I should be getting back to work. And if you have $300, maybe you and I could celebrate your promotion a little more." He winked, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth teasingly.

His blush flared back as the lip was pulled between the teeth. Damn it. He would not be able to hold himself back from touching. Not at all. But he was still wanting to spend that money to have some sort of alone time. "Celebrate with dancing?" It was a genuine question.

"Amongst other things.." He smiled coyly. Suddenly, he surged forward to press his lips against Castiel's. "Mmm.. See you in a few." He smiled, licking his lips before walking back around to the back door, back to his dressing room.

With his jaw slack, he watched as Dean turned back to head back into that den of iniquity. Cas debated whether going back in there, or stay sitting on the steps. There was no debate. Jumping off the steps, he went back inside to his brother, finding him already getting a lap dance from a woman dressed as an angel. Cas was content that he found no sexual pleasure in that. He waited there, looking around for Dean, wondering where he could be. He wanted that private dance more than anything.

Dean smiled to himself, quickly smoking a cigarette in his room before changing into an opened button down and a pair of jeans, ready for the next show. He doused himself in cologne to rid himself of the smell of nicotine and ash. The announcements started up again. "Now, we welcome to the main stage, for a special performance, L-l-l-Levi!" Dean ran a hand through his hair before stepping onto stage.

Hearing the name, Cas' eyes went straight back to the stage. Not even Gabriel didn't notice how focused he was on that dancer. "If you like him, make sure to send tons of money his way." His brother gave him yet another large wad of money to tip with. Scanning that body with his eyes, he looked disappointed that there were clothes this time. No. Dean wasn't meat. He was a human. A ridiculously good-looking human.

Dean quickly found Cas in the cheering throng of people, standing next to a slightly older looking brunette man. He locked eyes with Castiel yet again as 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' began playing. Dean began swinging his hips to the song. He erotically unzipped his jeans and shed them off quickly, revealing a white thong, smaller than the last, stark against his golden skin. He slowly worked the button up off, sure to give a show to the paying patrons, running his hands down his chest before sliding the shirt off and throwing it into the crowd. Some girl screamed as she caught it. Dean ran to the front of the stage and grabbed onto the pole that was there, expertly swinging around it.

He was even better this time around. Cas followed every bit of his movements, never stopping. No matter what he did, he made it look perfect and effortless. With his lips parted, he stared, never cheering or whistling for more. He was just completely entranced, just unable to stop staring. All he wanted was for Dean to come over, so that they could get into one of those private rooms together. He was willing to pay for the entire night.

Dean was smiling as the song ended. The roar was astounding. Men and women alike were cheering and throwing tens and even twenties on stage. Dean collected all the cash and walked off stage to deposit his money in his safe before walking back into the lobby area, still in his white thong, to look for Cas.

Again, Cas had been too caught up in the staring to even tip him. Guilt washed through him as he thought about it. Until Gabriel pointed out that Cas was starting to pitch a tent in his dress pants. "Looks like you enjoyed that a little too much," Gabe cackled. Cas had never had any sort of sexual experience, and so this erotic dancing was teaching him more and more. Blushing, he put a hand over it, trying to will it away. Dean would not want to be in any private room with a pervert like that. Great. All he could do was hope it was gone by the time Dean returned.

Dean grabbed two beers from the bar, telling the clubs bartender to put them on his tab. "Cas' he called. He walked over to the other man, hips swaying and ass cheeks jiggling slightly as he walked half naked through the crowd of people. He set one beer down on the table for Gabriel and handed the other one to Castiel. "On the house." He smiled. "Did you like the show?" He asked, green eyes shining with excitement.

Gabriel accepted the beer and looked over to his brother. "Oh he loved the show, let me tell ya," he laughed as he opened the bottle. "I'm sure he'd love to show you his appreciation elsewhere." It was his way of being a big brother and helping. After all, Cas needed it. He was too focused on Dean in front of him, too in awe to say anything. He never caught onto what Gabriel was trying to say. "I, um... I forgot to tip you again," he said as he started to pull out a $100 bill. "I forgot again this time and I hope this makes up for it."

Dean smiled and accepted the tip this time, tucking the bill into his thong. "Thanks." He smiled genuinely. "You guys gonna stick around for the rest of the night?" He asked. It was a little past 730. Dean generally had his dinner break from 8-930, but had taken an earlier dinner tonight to eat with Sam, which obviously hadn't happened. "And it's my job to remind you guys that private rooms are $300 an hour, and you can choose from any of the dancers." He smiled, winking at Castiel.

Gabriel sat there and waited for his brother to say anything, wanting him to be the man and make the first move, but he looked too zoned out to even notice. With an elbow to the ribs, that seemed to bring Cas to say what he wanted. "I'd like to have a room with you, then. If you don't mind." Always so polite. Even when in a strip joint.

Dean smiled. "Of course. So what you're gonna do is go to that counter over there-" he pointed to a counter on the other side of the club. "Give them your cash or card and ask for an hour, or however long you're paying for, with Levi." He smiled. "And then the body guard will lead you down to my room. The rooms are all sound proof, and if need be, I have a button to hit to have a body guard come in and escort you out." He leaned in to whisper into Cas' ear. "But between you and me, I'm not gonna be using that button tonight." He chuckled and pulled away. "I'll be waiting." He smiled, blowing Castiel a kiss before walking back to his dressing room to put Castiel's tip in his safe.

Cas was sure he was red as a tomato. Another nudge from his brother, and he was over to the counter. He didn't know how long they'd be... But he ended up paying for the rest of the night. Dean had made reference that Fridays were the days he was most likely to be groped by strangers. Even if they weren't going to stay in that room all night, at least Dean could spend it knowing he wouldn't have some creep touching him. The bodyguard was /huge/. Cas was sure the man could rip him in half if he wanted to, without breaking a sweat. Note to self, do not piss off anyone here. He didn't have a death wish. Once led to the room, he walked in and stood there awkwardly. Now what? What was he supposed to do. Oh this was a mistake. He shouldn't have done this.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean smiled as he walked in the back door, shutting it behind him. "Hey Cas." He smiled, moving to sit on the bed.

"Oh. Hi." He took a few steps forward, but stopped, remembering the rule. No touching. "Where should I be?"

Dean smiled and patted the space next to him. "How long are we in here for?" He asked, smirking. He really like this guy and would be disappointed when their time was up.

"I paid for the rest of the night," he admitted as he sat next to Dean. "I know you were talking about people touching you, and I thought if I paid for the rest of your friday evening, even if I leave, you can come back here to get away."

Deans mouth fell open. "Cas.. That's.. That's seven hours and.." He quickly did the math in his head. "$2100. Holy shit.." He murmured under his breath. "Th-thank you." He whispered looking at Castiel. "You're really kind." He bit his lip, willing away the tears that sprung to life whenever someone seemed to care about him. Man up Winchester.. "That really means a lot."

Castiel watched with a concerned expression, a hand slowly coming up to Dean's face. He wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. "Trust me. It's nothing. I wish to do at least one good thing for someone that deserves it."

Dean smiled sadly. "How do you know I deserve it?" He asked leaning into Castiel's gentle, but firm touch. Wow, that was amazing. He usually only got 20% of the payment, so only $60 dollars each hour, out of three hundred. But thanks to Castiel, tonight he was getting $420 dollars. That was more money to Sam's college fund and that meant he could take his little brother out somewhere nice for dinner. Sam thought he worked as a mechanic, so Dean was constantly lying to him and their dad about how he got his money, but it was better this way. "So, Uhm.. What do you want first?" He asked, licking his lips nervously and looking into Castiel's eyes.

"I can see that deep down, you're kind and I wish to reward that in anyway I can." Leaning forward, not even thinking, he pressed a kiss to the other man's lips. Just showing to help convey his emotions. "I don't understand."

Dean let out a soft moan and kissed him back. "I mean, do you want a lap dance? Or...?" He bit his lip, panting slightly.

"The only other lap dance I got tonight was terrible. Well, I don't think she was bad, but I'm not into women, so it didn't work. I tipped her out of guilt. I don't think she knew I was gay."

Dean chuckled. "Well hopefully, you'll like this one better. But you'll need to sit in that chair." He gestured towards a chair on the other side of the room. "I'm gonna out some music on." He smiled, pressing another kiss to Cas' plump lips before getting up to put on a sultry, erotic hip hop song.

Cas did as he was told, and as he got more used to being around Dean, the more his blush faded. He was getting comfortable. Sitting in the chair, he slowly exhaled, trying not to stare at Dean's body again.

Dean swung his hips to the song, getting into the rythym of the music. He walked back to Cas and straddled his lap, beginning to grind against his lap, lips parted around soft moans. The thin, silk fabric of his thong was stretched tightly against his erection, the outline of his hard cock clearly visible.

Castiel was already getting hard. After working to fight off that erection earlier, he was screwed. The sound of the fabric rubbing against his pants made him moan like a woman, unable to hold himself back. No no. Bad. No. Closing his eyes, he bit his lip to hold back his noises.

Dean started mouthing hotly against Castiel's neck, leaving soft, wet kisses behind. "Come on Cas, wanna hear you. The walls are sound proof." He murmured, holding onto Castiel biceps as he worked his ass against Cas' hardening cock. "Oh, and Cas?" He smirked.

"It's not other people I'm worried about hearing me," he said between gasps. "Yeah?" He sharply inhaled as his pants became almost too tight for his hard erection.

"You know..you can touch." He smirked, guiding Castiel's hands to rest on his hips..  
God, he was so gone on this guy. Dean had never let one of his customers touch him, let alone, wanted one of them to touch him. But there was something about this guy..

Cas was hesitant at first, not wanting to touch him so close to that barely hidden erection, but even he could barely hold himself back. "I've never been this close with someone..." He groaned as his hands moved to his pants button. "It hurts."

"Shhh baby... Let me take care of you.." He whispered. Dean slid off Cas' lap, batting away the other man's hands and undid his pants button, unzipped his pants, pulling them down some. He rested his head on Cas' thigh, face turned towards Cas' cock as he stroked it through the other mans underwear. "You're a virgin?" He asked softly.

Cas shivered at the touch, not used to anyone else's hand being there but his own. "Unless you count masturbation," he confessed as the dick stiffened with each stroke.

Dean chuckled softly. "Can...can I suck you off?" He asked, eyes glued to the growing wet spot on Cas' boxer briefs, mouth watering at the musky scent of Castiel's precome.

Good job body on giving him away. Brushing back his wild hair, he nodded quickly as he felt just how hard he was. "Please, yes."

Dean let out a loud moan and pulled down Cas' underwear. And holy fuck, he wasn't expecting this. Guy was a monster. Cas had a long, thick cock... Deans ass clenched, thinking about how bad he wanted Cas to fuck him. But baby steps first. He wrapped his lips around the head of Cas' cock, tonguing at the slit and lapping up the precome.

There was a loud moan and a mumbled expletive as he felt the tongue on his cock. Never had he imagined that one day someone would do this to him, and he was already ready to give out. "D-Dean," he moaned out, grabbing onto his hair.

Dean moaned around Cas' cock and took him down as far as he could, tongue lapping at the underside of Castiel's cock, enjoying his taste and the weight of Cas' flesh on his tongue.

Thankfully the room was sound proof. Crying out, Cas leaned back up against the chair to stare at the ceiling. There were stars at the edges of his vision. "Damn... Dean, I'm... Nnh!"

Dean pulled off a little, sucking harder, silently urging Cas to come. He wanted to taste him, he wanted him to come down his throat.

And he did just that. With a high whine, Cas emptied his load into the waiting mouth, panting softly as his quick orgasm washed through him. "S-Sorry..."

Dean moaned softly as he swallowed, thoroughly enjoying his taste. He pulled off with a soft pop. "It's okay." He smiled up at Cas. "I really liked that."

"I-I've never been sucked..." He looked down, beads of sweat starting to form on his face. "I liked it too."

"I'd like to do that more often." He admitted, standing up. "Come on, let's go lay on the bed." He smiled, taking Castiel's hand.

Panic started to rise in Castiel's chest. "I-uh...I should probably go..Gabriel..it's late.." He stuttered. He was already starting to develop feelings towards Dean, which was scary and confusing. Castiel, who had never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Castiel, the blushing virgin. Castiel, the one who apparently ditched right after receiving the blow job of his life. Well it was the only one he'd ever gotten, but still. He looked at Dean with a pained expression and whispered, "Sorry..," before fixing his pants back up, turning tail and practically running out of the room.

Dean frowned heavily, watching the other man run from the room. He sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around his torso, trying to ignore the hurt but it was still there. God, he was so stupid. Of course no one would want him for anything other than his body. He should've learned his lesson a long time ago, but that Castiel guy just seemed so... Different. He sighed and laid down on the bed, curling in on himself. He felt really exposed there, in his thong, trying his hardest not to cry. At least the rest of his night was paid for.. Shivering slightly, he stood up and walked back to his dressing room. Dean changed back into normal clothes, putting his tips into his wallet, before finding his manager.

"Hey Meg. I'm not feeling well, I'm gonna go home. The rest of my night was paid for by some guy for the private rooms, but he left so I'm technically not supposed to on stage anyways." He mumbled.

Meg eyed him cautiously. "Alright Dean." This was definitely not the guy she knew. Dean was always so lively and confident, not curled into himself and dejected. "Be sure to stop by Kev to get your pay for tonight. Hope you feel better!" She called as Dean started to trudge across the lobby.

No sight of Cas or his brother. He sighed and got his paycheck and his share of the private room cash from the night before getting in his car and driving home.

The whole ride was spent blaring classic rock in a sad attempt to ignore all thoughts concerning Cas, and his eyes, and his hair and his-. Alright, enough Dean. He frowned and pulled into his apartment complex. Getting out of the car, he rubbed it's black paint reverently. "At least you'll never hurt me, Baby." He murmured before going to his shabby apartment, unlocking it and walking in. He sighed and pulled a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet before sitting on his couch, drowning his sorrows in liquor and bad television. He didn't know how much he drank or when he passed out, but the last coherent non-Castiel centered thought was the fact that he'd be waking up hurting in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

And hurting he was. He woke up, mouth dry, head aching and limbs tangled in his bed sheets. He groaned and lifted his head to check the time. 1 pm. Shit. Struggling to sit up, he scrubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms and pulled off the ratty T-shirt that he was sleeping in. He sighed heavily and slowly trudged towards the kitchen to pour himself some water and take at least 4 Advil. He needed to shower and eat a brunch before going to work at 5. Fuck, work. He didn't want to even think about it or what he would do if /he/ was there again.

Once he was in the shower, he felt a little better. The hot water washed off all the sweat, glitter and self-loathing that Dean felt. He never wanted to leave, but alas, the water turned cold, forcing Dean from the shower to dry off and get into jeans and a tan long sleeved shirt. He sat on his couch for a while, drinking water and absently listening to the television for a while before his phone started going off. He winced and picked it up, wanting the incessant ringing to stop.

"Hello?" He answered, voice gruff.

"Hey Dean," came the soft reply.

"Sammy? What's up?"

"Uh, nothing. Just wanted to talk before you went into work." Sam mumbled.

"Yeah? About what?" Deans heart raced nervously. Of course their plans would be ruined again.

".. Dad said I can't go out tonight.." He whispered, afraid of how his older brother would react.

Dean just sighed. "Did he say why?" He replied eventually, pinching the bridge of his nose between his first two fingers.

"Said I spent all day taking my SAT and that I needed to stay in."

"Alright. Just- Uhm... Maybe tomorrow?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I'll ask..." Pause. "I miss you Dean."

"I miss you too Sammy." He bit his lip, voice cracking. "Stay out of trouble kiddo."

"I will."

The line went dead and Dean let out a shaky breath. He put the phone down and hugged his knees to his chest. He really needed a drink, but it was almost four and he needed to get his jacket and head out the door to go to work.

He shrugged on his jacket, fished his keys from his pocket and left his apartment, head down and usually bright green eyes, dull.

After he finally pulled into work, he walked in the back, pulling a cigarette from the carton and letting it rest between his lips. "The fuck?" He grumbled, patting down his pockets.

"What is it sweetie?"

Dean looked up to see Jo, the closest thing he had to a best friend, walking towards him.

"Oh, can't find my lighter." He mumbled, frowning. "You got a light?"

Jo sighed and produced a lighter from her back pocket, handing it to Dean.

"Thanks." He sighed, relieved as the nicotine soothed his nerves.

"How'd you lose yours?" She asked, taking her lighter back.

Dean took a long drag of his cigarette, blowing a smoke ring before responding. "I-uh...lost it I guess." That was a lie. Castiel, the bastard, never gave it back after they met on the steps of the club. "But I think I have another in my room."

Jo cocked an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"Uh, when do you work till tonight?" He asked, looking down, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and letting it rest between his index and middle finger.

"Close. It's Saturday."

"Oh..yeah." He replied slowly.

"Dean.." Jo started, concerned.

"Sorry Jo, I gotta get ready." He turned around, trying to ignore his friends glare, feeling her eyes bore into his back.

"Dean Winchester, so help me god!"

Dean closed the door to his dressing room and sunk down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees. He smoked the rest of the cigarette, down to the butt, before standing and walking to his desk and dresser area. He ground the butt out in the ash tray that sat in the corner of his desk and sighed, staring at his face in the mirror.

"Fuck." He took in a shaky breath before starting to strip, changing into his first outfit of the night, a pair of red, short gym shorts and a muscle tank with a red whistle hanging around his neck. He took some hair gel from a drawer in his desk and spiked his hair up and added some light eyeliner. He stared at his reflection and bit his lip, tears welling up in his eyes. Never before had he questioned what he was doing or felt such a strong self loathing like this... Maybe his dad was right.

One day, when Dean was 19, his dad began questioning how he made his money. Thrown off guard, he stuttered and mumbled some lie that his dad had seen clear through. Then all hell broke loose. His dad started yelling about how his oldest son was a slut. A whore. Not to be talked to. Those words stung more than a slap ever would. What made it worse was that after John spat in disdain by Dean's feet, he swore he'd never let Sammy near him. Dean felt like crying. It had been a year since he'd seen his brother last and it was obvious that their father was trying to keep them apart. Why was his father so thick? He was doing this for Sam..

A knock on the door shook him from his thoughts.

"Dean..? Honey?" Jo called from the door.

"Yeah?" He tried to ignore the way his voice cracked.

"It's five. You're on in ten."

"Oh. Right.. I'm coming." He murmured, getting up and following her out of his dressing room.

Dean jumped on stage for a few songs, but his heart wasn't into it like it usually was. He got half the amount of tips that he usually did by this time. With a sigh, he excused himself to the restroom. Head down, he slowly walked towards the back of the club, towards the dressing rooms and the bathrooms that the dancers used, when he accidentally ran into someone. "Sorry!" He blurted, and visibly paled when he looked up and saw those beautiful, hauntingly painful blue eyes.

"Dean."


End file.
